Breastfeeding Advice from Cows

English: An English Longhorn cow and calf.

My husband is shockingly crunchy.  He isn’t the type of person anybody would expect to be crunchy, natural, green, or any of the other words associated with this lifestyle, but he is.  He doesn’t try to be crunchy.  It’s not something he even realized he was doing before I came along and told him what crunchy meant.  He just does what comes naturally to him.  He is a farmer.  He was raised on a farm and has owned cows his whole life.  I didn’t know much about cows before I met him.  It seems now that I know more than I would ever have cared to know.  There have been some wonderful lessons I have learned from cows, though.  The most important of these lessons would have to be about breastfeeding.  Let’s face it, cows are way better at nursing their babies than humans are.  They do a damn good job of it.  Here are the most important lessons I have learned from cows about breastfeeding:

  1. Cows, naturally, nurse their babies (much like humans are supposed to).  The difference is that cows do it in public and never give it a moment’s thought.  Their baby is hungry, their baby eats.  That’s it, that’s all.  None of the other cows glare or give disgusted looks or talk in hushed voices about how inappropriate that mama cow is being.  There are no great debates about how much udder is appropriate to show or at what age the calf should stop nursing in public.  Whenever somebody sees a cow nursing their baby at a farm, or in a field on the side of the road, or in a book, or on T.V., they always comment on how cute it is.  The parents will point out to their children the nursing calf and explain to them that the baby calf is hungry and is eating.  Can you imagine this happening with humans?  Nobody is commenting on how cute it is when they see a baby nursing in the mall.  No parents are explaining to their children about how babies eat from breasts when they see it being done in public.  Instead, they are judging the nursing mother for breastfeeding in front of their children and wishing she would cover up or go somewhere else.  Cows know nursing in public is no big deal.
  2. A nursing cow is attached to her baby.  A mama cow has to be available to feed her baby whenever her baby wants.  Anywhere a mama cow goes, a hungry little calf is sure to be not far behind.  The mama cow can’t just leave a bottle and go out with her cow friends for the day.  The needs and wants of her baby always come first.  This is an important one for humans to learn from cows.  A nursing baby needs to be near it’s mother.  Nursing is a lot more than just a source of food for a baby and cows understand that.  Calves nurse to sleep, nurse for comfort, nurse when they are scared or hurt.  Humans nurse for all these reasons, as well.  If the mother is not around for the baby to nurse when he/she needs to, it can be very upsetting and traumatizing to the nursing relationship.  Human mamas need to be just as attached to their babies as cow mamas are.  That’s not to say they can never get a break (I’m hiding alone in my bedroom as I type this) and you will see cows on the other side of the field (I’m sure they’re hiding from their calves) all the time, but the mama just needs to be close and able to get there when the baby decides it needs to nurse.
  3. Cows allow their babies to wean themselves.  You don’t see any cows cutting their babies off cold-turkey at 6 months old or replacing their nursing sessions with a bottle once they get “too old” to nurse.  Cows respect and understand that their babies will wean on their own timeline and there is no need to force it.  Human babies will also wean in their own time, but unfortunately not many babies get the chance to choose the length of their nursing relationship as it is usually cut short by forced weaning.
  4. A farmer will try everything they can to get a calf to nurse before they ever turn to bottle feeding.  They will keep the cow in the barn and go out there at regular intervals to help the calf nurse.  They will wash the cow’s udders in warm water and milk her to help produce milk.  They will feed her extra hay, grain and lots of water to increase her milk.  They know that a few problems might happen when nursing, but it’s normal to have them and they are almost always fixable.  Bottle feeding has major drawbacks and they realize it and they aren’t going to bottle feed unless absolutely crucial and every attempt at nursing has been made, and then made again for good measure.  Now, I know this lesson has been learned from farmers, not cows, but I feel like it’s an important one.  Humans will turn to bottle feeding at the slightest of problems and without giving it a real effort.  Cows have to give it a real effort.  They have no other choice.  There are no bottles for them (unless supplied by the farmer) and that is why nursing almost always works for cows.  There is no giving up.  They have to allow their bodies to do what they are designed to do or their babies starve.

I realize that this logic could be applied to any mammal other than humans.  Be it cats, monkeys, horses, dolphins, or any other mammal that nurses, but cows are the ones that I have had the time to observe nursing their young and the ones that have taught me my lessons.  Cows are good mamas and I think we could all learn a little from the natural world.❤

It’s time to start thinking

I often post links to articles about parenting information on my personal Facebook page.  Links about things like car seat safety, the case against circumcision, gentle discipline, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, and co-sleeping.  Nobody ever comments on or “likes” these links.  Nothing. Ever. Day after day, I post and nobody responds.  I am not saying that everybody should agree with my personal parenting choices or “like” everything I post on Facebook but c’mon, people, you can’t even read the articles?  If they would at least read the articles and form some type of opinion on these subjects I would be happy.  If they would just comment and defend their decision to circumcise (or to not breastfeed, or to not extended rear-face or whatever the case may be) and provide me with the resources that they used to come to this decision then I would know that they are actively thinking about their parenting choices and I could sleep a little better at night. Sadly, however, this doesn’t happen.  Nobody ever defends their choices or links me to the articles and research that they have read to make these choices.  It’s disheartening, really.  To know that parenthood is the most important job these people will ever have and they can’t even read a couple articles or do a few hours of research on it.  When somebody decides to become a teacher, a nurse, or any other career, there are countless hours of research and learning.  Books to read, classes to attend, research to do, and essays to write. When somebody decides to become a parent there is no thinking required.  As long as you can master the act required to create life (and let’s face it, any dumbass can figure that out) then you are qualified to become a parent.  After that act it is up to each individual to decide how much time and effort they invest in this new endeavour and, sadly, the status quo is to invest little to none.  All the people around me just seem to be going along with what everybody else is doing.  They never stop to question “Why?” or if it’s for the best.  They cut off parts of their babies because their mother-in-law decided to do it to her son decades ago (“Well, a boy should look like his father”) and they never question if this is the best decision for their baby.  They turn their babies forward-facing at one year old because the law allows them to and everybody else they know did it.  They never even attempt to breastfeed because they were formula-fed and they “turned out fine” so they see no need to try and do better for their own child.  It’s sad that our society puts so little emphasis on what is best for our children- our future.  The parent’s convenience seems to trump the baby’s best interests and it seems that the parent’s convenience does not include doing any critical thinking or research into parenting choices.  Thinking is what has moved our species forward.  Questioning, thinking, changing and growing is what we should thrive on.  We should always be trying to know more, learn more, do more, and do better.  When I look around at the parents around me, I don’t see this.  I see people following blindly and doing what they are told and what those before them have done.  It’s time to stop following and start thinking.  Even if you do your research and decide to do what you would have done before, without the research, at least now it’s an educated choice.  You thought about it.  That’s a step forward.